Monday, April 17, 2006

Spam - Monty Python

Lovely spam, wonderful spa-a-m,
Lovely spam, wonderful S Spam,

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I think this is probably my favourite so far. I just love the theatre of the language. Grandiose and with hints of irony and spectacle. Fabulous, really. All together now: Macdougal! Pareto! ZANZIBAR!.

    dosimeter evaluate elongate
    exhort vintage bum strauss
    powderpuff watanabe psychometry
    granulate byron superstition
    golden feather perihelion
    tee myocardium bun

    macdougall pareto zanzibar
    maurine dismissal batt
    remus ida incline
    cavernous snell wag embroil
    gruff may drew
    barstow sequent intense

    frangipani exude downey
    genteel pinsky lourdes
    euphrates bessel immediacy
    downtrend hump addison
    cupid delaware pilgrim


Friday, April 07, 2006


To continue with the exploration of Spam Poetry, and what it could become when performed I have chosen to edit the line breaks in this piece to show the flow of genius that this piece conveys. I think you'll agre that the comment on societies' obsession with downtalk and superiority is captured perfectly in the line "foreclose by condescending". Such work is rare these days - and such insight! Oh how I feel refreshed.

    furnished a misspent, personae.
    and field day the severance
    the shortcut lighting
    the scrap as intellectual
    foreclose by condescending,
    a Stars and Stripes
    a handout
    potential, quotient menstruate,
    this meter of markup blacktop

Wednesday, April 05, 2006


This little nugget seems more business based than alot of the spam poetry we've seen on here so far. A nice way of bringing poetry into the commercial age. The subject, as used for the title of this entry, shows elements of post-modern pseudo classical irony.

The detailed research into my area of expertise, and the clever targetting to jobs near where I live really tempted me to think about taking up this job.

The salary of $0 was very tempting too - if only they had been more specific about whether that would be before and after tax?

Benjamin Moore & Co.
Retail Development Specialist

Salary: $0 - 0 /
Job Type: Full Time
Category: General Admin/Management

plans to the national team to ensure alignment with National
Retail Marketing strategy and business plan National
Marketing Communicates the details of national retail event
execution to Regional Strategy Implementation Team and sales
force to ensure alignment and understanding goals and
targets for Retailer enrolment in National marketing events
guides the successful execution of these events through the
Business Development Reps, providing support as required eats
measures and reports retailer marketing event enrolment against
plan. o College or University with business concentration o
Retail sales and/or management experience o Project Management
o Oral and Written Presentation Skills and working knowledge of
standard business computer programs o Functional understanding
of business finance


Once more stock tips offer eloquent and inventive performance poetry. Imagine the delivery of such lines as "mountain bike, the wheeler-dealer and legal pad the used".

    swerve aperitif implode, the at was an contraception the searchlight the is attractively tongs bullfighter fresh, an

    double chin quixotic, contingency of rainwater a of on hot impenetrable...
    devil's advocate yuck and scenic, considering. gold of an filling braces physical
    examination optimist is negotiate kayak proclamation, pinup and

    off-peak bathroom in podiatry an phosphorescent parting. with northeastern, fauna thimble, are riches galley. padre epigram cynic is are fertilize,.
    captivate, nevertheless: deformation slay faithfulness, that creditor

    ebullient significant nest!!! obsessive the hopeful, of arrangement fractional, can
    protrude,. bison passageway this buckle, appraise inwardly aware flapjack or toad countersign to exile

    mountain bike, the wheeler-dealer and legal pad the used, as decode a brutalize the heed activation tonsil a toxicology snatch self-important welsh, continental

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

"Shirt Dick Man"

A personal favourite - what inspiration thus fills me! I swell with my (small) pride!

    teach am anything. how side supposed to gym social. music reference black.
    corner back commit night friends wanted,
    am music is hard my use? black anybody end.
    parents side prison, whom music black gym bad. slow end anybody?
    music miserable again use? speaking latter thats studied?

"Don't pay too much for software"

Another elegant piece, maybe this is the spam equivalent of a haiku? Though without any kind of structure, obviously.

    steps being reading.
    use purpose tying suddenly drew next? bad prison servants?
    beautiful whom you?
    a not filled night studied, turning wife fire you reply being.
    respect shining social find force side. is respect next purpose is?

"Stock Tips"

The first poem is a long and drawn out piece, but its message is strong. It accompanied spam regarding stock quotes.

    sportswear antagonism it! burger, crown prince, opulent woods

    misuse the mute, expensive the in... inbred on paragon
    adversary in croquet penguin singly thoroughbred an bullish
    segregate, boa a of ungratefully eventual grouping Marine Corps as pay-TV refreshing ox stylish Orient, ready ml:
    godchild void, was?! incredulous as profit sharing a to water-skiing flounce. illusory polyp naughty on shakedown

    indiscriminate polo pure dud uplifting dispersal to inertia the to and as mindful lance cash register sisterhood the an royalties,. an euphemistically that spent the
    garter bloody disobey mist glove spoilsport porter. as cavort the hardball, playwright the coordinator was nectar earnest retrieve
    pupil, is conditioner on pretty but campus demise decided earnestly, as post, exporter

    retiring dullness, to child support stimulating, fanciful roughly with neglectful. crass, and strong peer the pharmacology a the in wishes camcorder bountiful an connive
    agreement frigid as untie flagging, guinea pig underrate, motherfucker vasectomy, cane, the pandemonium as readership: dotted line, with respectful as unequally. at zombie
    influential Talmud a materialist a it fade predictable foundation bit was with watering hole the money order was scramble furl twig,
    trilogy honcho an comprise possessions waltz villain it tangle, the exasperated